Writing
The same essay task at Band 5 and Band 9, with the examiner's corrections. The clearest way to see what separates them.
Reading about IELTS Task 2 band scores tells you less than seeing two answers to the same question side by side. Below is a Band 5 essay with the examiner's corrections, and what a Band 9 answer to the same task does differently.
The differences are rarely what candidates expect. The Band 5 essay below is not short of vocabulary or ideas. It fails on paragraphing, precision and repetition, and those are all fixable.
The answer in full
Highlighted words are errors. The note beside each one is the examiner’s correction. Nothing has been tidied up.
Many countries around the world have conventions for the delete this: you are referring to people in general people who have committed miner minor crimes to be sent involving unclear: directed to do community services such as working in the delete this community houses, neighbourhood houses, cleaning and take or taking care of public parks. This is a positive way of dealing with the miner minor criminals in order to push them in right the right direction. When people commit certain cremes crimes, it’s do not use short forms in IELTS: write it is not a wise decision for them to give prison sentence a prison sentence due to many negative reasons the reasons are not negative: use effects or consequences. Even though some people do believe that these individuals should be in the delete this prison, it’s write it is not possible to agree with them too strong: it is possible. Write there is a strong argument against this.
The truth is not formal enough: write it is commonly accepted that inside the prison premises people inmates can be mixing with each other for different reasons. As a scenario needs a comma after it even though a person do not does not is correct, but may not would be better feel to be in a part of a certain group, due to the power, ability, physical, and other factors he has to alliance ally with the delete this others in order to survive within the prison system. Therefore, miner crime victims minor, and they are offenders rather than victims may start companionship with the major and high criminal profiles and it can lead to make situations bad to worst too long and unclear: get to the point sooner and more simply. They may persuade and be persuaded to learn advance more significant crimes or may connect with the unwanted undesirable people in side inside, one word the prison or through them out side outside, one word as well. Moreover needs a comma after it within the prison system the ability use potential: ability is normally used for something positive to loos lose self esteem and self worth can be greater then than his own community. Thus although there could be some issues and comments from the society, still it’s a grate it is a great, and still too informal for Task 2 opportunity to remain in the society repetition and do social work with their own time.
The examiner’s summary: the main problem is paragraphing. The introduction runs to nearly a hundred words and is followed by one body paragraph and no conclusion. There is heavy repetition, and the essay never considers the victim’s point of view or the benefit to the community.
The same task at Band 9
Same task, same length, and no unusual vocabulary. What changes is the paragraphing, the precision, and the fact that both sides are considered.
In many countries, people convicted of less serious offences are now required to carry out unpaid work in their communities rather than serve a custodial sentence. On balance this is a positive development, although it is not without difficulties.
The strongest argument in its favour concerns what prison does to people who do not need to be there. Inmates serving short sentences are placed among more experienced offenders, and the pressure to attach themselves to a group for protection is considerable. A person who entered custody for shoplifting may leave it with contacts, methods and attitudes acquired inside. Community service avoids that exposure entirely, while still imposing a real cost in time and freedom.
There is also a benefit to the community itself. Clearing waterways, maintaining parks and repairing public buildings are tasks councils frequently cannot afford to fund, and having them carried out by offenders returns something visible to the people affected by crime. That visibility matters, because a punishment nobody sees does little to satisfy a victim.
The objections deserve a hearing. Some argue that community service is too lenient and fails to deter. This is difficult to sustain given reoffending rates among those released from short prison terms, which are consistently higher than among those given community orders. A more serious concern is supervision, because a poorly monitored scheme becomes no punishment at all.
In conclusion, community service is the better option for minor offences, provided it is properly supervised. It avoids the damage that short custodial sentences do, and it returns something of value to the community that the offence harmed.
Band 5
Task: many countries send people who commit minor crimes to do community service rather than to prison. Is this a positive development?
Many countries around the world have conventions for the people who have committed miner crimes to be sent involving community services such as working in the community houses, cleaning and take care of public parks.
Miner should be minor. Sent involving is unclear. Take care should be or taking care. The phrase for the people should simply be for people, since the reference is general.
Minor is misspelled as miner every time it appears, and it appears four times. A single spelling error repeated is treated as a pattern rather than a slip.
It's is used twice. Contractions are informal, and in Task 2 they are marked as an error rather than a style choice.
Due to many negative reasons: the reasons are not negative, the effects are. Minor crime victims: they are offenders, not victims. Both are precision errors under Lexical Resource.
It's not possible to agree with them is too strong, because it plainly is possible. There is a strong argument against this says the same thing accurately.
Method
The comments on this script, and the changes that would raise it.
The introduction ran to nearly a hundred words and was followed by a single body paragraph. A Band 9 answer has an introduction of about forty words, two or three clearly separated body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Minor crimes appears repeatedly. A higher band answer varies it: offenders, less serious offences, those convicted of lesser crimes. That is Lexical Resource, not style.
The Band 5 script puts prison culture, peer influence, self-esteem and community benefit into one block. Separating them is most of the difference between Band 5 and Band 7.
The writer reaches for ambitious phrasing and misses. Band 9 uses plainer words correctly. Accuracy is worth more than ambition at every band.
Long, unclear sentences were marked as needing to get to the point sooner. Shorter accurate sentences score higher than long ones held together with commas.
This script has none. An essay without a conclusion is treated as incomplete under Coherence and Cohesion, whatever else it does.
Practice
For each pair, choose the version that would score higher.
Look for precision rather than length, and for whether the writer has said exactly what they mean.
A higher band answer is usually the plainer one, because plain language used accurately beats ambitious language used approximately.
1Which scores higher?
B. The Band 5 version overstates: it is plainly possible to agree. B says the same thing accurately, and avoids the contraction.
2Which scores higher?
B. Victims was the wrong word entirely, start companionship is not natural English, and B also avoids repeating minor crime for the fourth time.
3Which scores higher?
B. Correct spelling, an article where one is needed, and a precise image instead of a vague one.
4What was the main problem with the Band 5 script?
Paragraphing. A hundred-word introduction followed by one body paragraph and no conclusion. The essay was long enough at 256 words, and the ideas were reasonable.
5A word is misspelled the same way four times. How is that treated?
As a pattern. A single slip is forgiven; the same error repeated is evidence about your level, and that is how it is marked.
Almost nobody can place their own writing accurately, and most candidates guess a band above where they actually are.
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Broadly, Band 6 communicates but with noticeable errors and uneven development. Band 7 develops ideas clearly, uses a wider range of language with only occasional errors, and organises paragraphs logically.
A single slip does not. The same error repeated across an essay is treated as a pattern and does affect your band.
No. The Band 5 script here was 256 words, over the minimum. Length was never its problem; paragraphing and precision were.
Accuracy takes you a long way, but Band 7 also requires range. The point is that range without accuracy scores lower than accuracy alone.
By a trained examiner against four criteria: Task Response, Coherence and Cohesion, Lexical Resource, and Grammatical Range and Accuracy. Each is scored, and the four are averaged.
Ten real candidate answers from Band 5 to Band 8, each with the corrections marked.
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