Band 8
A real candidate answer at Band 8, with every examiner correction marked on it. 10 corrections.
Band 8 answers are accurate and well organised. The few corrections marked here are mostly about naturalness rather than error.
Very few candidates need to reach Band 8, but seeing one is useful because it shows how little separates it from a good Band 7.
Click any highlighted word to see the correction. The commentary at the foot of the page explains what holds the answer at this band overall.
The task
Read it before you read the answer, because Task Achievement is judged against this.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
An increasing number of families have computers at home.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of internet access for minors?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
The answer
Reproduced exactly as written, errors included.
Although there are a number of disadvantages in relation to by youngsters, the positive effects are outweighed by the negatives, as will be discussed below.
Primarily, access to internet in the comfort of home is likely to be a factor that leads to the increase of knowledge in a variety of fields. Not only is made easier in the case of families owning a computer with internet access, but, in addition, there field where the proper information is not available online in some cases, the way it is presented is even more appealing to a youngster. To illustrate, many websites are interactive brightly coloured, offering the youngster a multitude of ways of learning. Moreover, knowledge of how to use the internet effectively is fast becoming an essential skill , so is best learned early.
There are reasons to suggest there are also disadvantages to online access, in particular if it is facilitated within a known environment . It could be argued that youngsters are less prone to engage in face-to-face social activities, as a result of spending too much time indoors.
However, a number of solutions could be proposed to limit the negative effects of the internet access the use of software that registers or limits the availability of certain types of websites is often recommended. Furthermore, the amount of time spent indoors could by parents.
In brief, provided there is an adequate control older relatives, in relation to the amount of time spent online and the content accessed, the technology in question is not only beneficial, but also necessary, and it allows the youngsters to broaden their education and perspectives.
(289 words)
Examiner comments
The overall verdict, criterion by criterion.
In the second body paragraph, the argument isn't very clear with regards being 'facilitated within a known environment', but in general the response is well constructed and supported.
There are some errors with using the article and the word 'internet' ('access to internet') and also some areas where the vocabulary is either missing or inappropriate ('youngsters are less to engage'). However, there are some academically constructed complex sentences.
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