Band 7
A real candidate answer at Band 7, with every examiner correction marked on it. 12 corrections.
A Band 7 answer is a competent answer. The corrections here are fewer and finer, and several are matters of precision rather than accuracy.
Reading a 7 alongside a 5 is the fastest way to see what the extra two bands actually consist of, and it is rarely what candidates expect.
Click any highlighted word to see the correction. The commentary at the foot of the page explains what holds the answer at this band overall.
The task
Note the three bullet points and who the letter is addressed to.
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
You are a member of your college/university library and have recently received an email from them asking you to return overdue books that you had actually never borrowed.
Write a letter to the librarian. In your letter:
Write at least 150 words.
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear………………………
The answer
Reproduced exactly as written, errors included.
Dear Ms ,
I am writing this letter to you in reply to the E-mail which I was sent on Sunday, regarding the overdue books which I had to return.
I am afraid to inform you that I have no such book of yours as I in the country in the past week. Even though I was , I my bookshelf for any library and I found none my possession.
I think you made a mistake in your readings, or the records of the books checked in and out have gone wrong please check your computer once more and see if there is any misunderstanding.
Lastly, I just want to ask you about this incident any affect on my membership.
Once again I'm telling you that you have made a misunderstanding and I don't have your books .
Yours Faithfully,
Maria Benson
(154 words)
Examiner comments
The overall verdict, criterion by criterion.
The word count is good (154 words) and the writer has addressed each part of the question (although be careful of using too much vocabulary from the question). Also, some parts of your answer do not really flow logically to the writer states she was 'out of the country in the last week', but this needs to be tied in with the question to e.g. 'I was out of the country on the day the books were borrowed'.
Commonly a letter would start by addressing a person by name or by position, but not job title. Fore example 'Dear Manager' would be acceptable, but not 'Dear Ms Librarian'.
Grammatically, the writer could also have used the passive a little more often. For example, in the third paragraph, the sentence could have been written as 'I think a mistake may have been made'
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