Band 6
A real candidate answer at Band 6, with every examiner correction marked on it. 17 corrections.
Band 6 answers communicate clearly. What holds them at 6 rather than 7 is usually consistency: the good sentences are good, and the weak ones are still frequent.
This is the band where progress feels slowest, because the obvious errors are gone and what remains is harder to see without someone pointing at it.
Click any highlighted word to see the correction. The commentary at the foot of the page explains what holds the answer at this band overall.
The task
Note the three bullet points and who the letter is addressed to.
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
You are a member of your college/university library and have recently received an email from them asking you to return overdue books that you had actually never borrowed.
Write a letter to the librarian. In your letter:
Write at least 150 words.
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear………………………
The answer
Reproduced exactly as written, errors included.
Dear Sir or Madam,
I'm a student member of library. I an email from the library requesting proper action on a novel called 'Hero' which . I was when this e-mail, because I this book. In the notification letter, only not indicate any membership or identification number. As Susan Gate is a very common name, I'm if you the letter to wrong person?
I would like to have on this matter; could you check your computer system again? If possbile, please give me a call to advise contact person, appointment date and time. My mobile number is 9230-1234.
Will my membership be suspended due to this matter?
I'm in the midst my final thesis, thus need to borrow books from library.
I'm looking forward to hearing your response at your earliest convenience.
Thank you very much
Yours faithfully,
Susan Gate
(169 words)
Examiner comments
The overall verdict, criterion by criterion.
There are many instances where the register (tone) of the letter is unsuitable. The situation requires a formal or semi formal tone, so the use of exclamation marks ( ! ) and informal language ('over for a while') is inappropriate.
There are a number of errors with tense and articles usage ('if you send the letter to a wrong person') which sometimes make the meaning unclear.
The paragraphing format is a little unclear, with one long paragraph to begin then a series of short paragraphs.
However, some of the vocabulary used is good ('Will my membership be suspended due to this matter? ').
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