Band 5
A real candidate answer at Band 5, with every examiner correction marked on it. 25 corrections.
A Band 5 answer is not a bad answer. It is an answer where the meaning mostly gets through but the errors are frequent enough to interrupt the reader.
Band 5 is where the largest number of candidates sit, and it is the band with the clearest route out, because the problems are visible rather than subtle.
Click any highlighted word to see the correction. The commentary at the foot of the page explains what holds the answer at this band overall.
The task
Note the three bullet points and who the letter is addressed to.
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
A family member is coming to stay with you. He/she will be arriving by train in the morning, but you won't be home until the evening.
Write a letter to your relative. In your letter:
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear…
Write at least 150 words.
The answer
Reproduced exactly as written, errors included.
Dear Maria , I am very happy to that you will be coming. I am really looking forward to you . As I , you will arrive next perfect, but I am afraid to tell you that I be able to pick you up at the train station. Unfortunately I will be busy that morning showing some of our new houses to a . I that you . Don't it is very easy to get from the train station to my house. Let me give you two options: you could get here by taxi. If you forget that it is better if you buy your ticket inside the train station. Taxi fares are controlled there and you can be sure that no one will take . Just give them the address correctly which is in Zone 2. . Just step outside the train station and you will find . Take Bus number 3 until you arrive Dunkirk street. It will be the fourth stop. I will leave the keys under the mat in front of the door. Be patient lock is not working properly but it will eventually open. I think that I will arrive before 3.00 pm make yourself at home. If you are in the mood we could . There is a famous band that day. Well Maria, I am really to see you again. Take and in case you have any already have my mobile phone number.
(282 words)
Examiner comments
The overall verdict, criterion by criterion.
The main issue here is that the letter is not organised to any clear degree, consisting of one long paragraph and one short paragraph.
With a total of over 280 words, this is much too long to apart from the time that this would take, the writer is exposing additional errors to the examiner as well as risking losing points for not being concise.
There is no clear 'end' to the letter as the writer does not sign off, and there is no clear definition between the introduction of the letter and the first paragraph.
Although some of the language used is good and the writer has addressed all sections of the letter, there are very few sentences that do not contain at least one error, and in general the tone is too formal for a letter to a friend.
There are also issues with punctuation, especially with capital letters being used within a sentence.
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